i hate myself but i’m the only person allowed to hate me because i’m fucking spectacular
i used to be on tumblr all the time now i’m a loser real life: not even once.
met this girl at this party last night and as soon as we talked i knew she was a tumblr girl <3 man i love meeting tumblr people in real life!
been WAYYYYYYYYYY too long since i been on here :o
dietchola: cancel my subscription, because I am DONE with your issues
avengedfuckingsevenfold: havE S EX WITHM E oh my god what is wrong with me
havE S EX WITHM E
100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person
gumdropmountian asked: No worries, polygamy is totally my thing
gumdropmountian asked: hey, hey- marry me?
guys, please, I cannot answer all 0 messages
coletureconcept: just-amazayn-me: twerkinswagg: I didn’t choose the thug life The thug life chose me do you think he’s seen this post yet maybe
Obama wins, tumblr erupts in cheer.
allisons-y: properlyyours: aaaaa42: yinx1: chevapravatdumrong: dietchola: do twin boys have the same penis size? Tumblr in deep thought. Things I never thought about about until I join tumblr #1658 cole sprouse has a tumblr lets ask him good idea
sararye: disciple-of-delia: If Romney gets elected can we just submit gay porn to him until he gives up?
deodrant: I love this time of year u get a holiday at the end of like every month
rahilugh: for my 12th birthday my mum got me a book and i already had it so i was like ‘oh well, now i have 2 copies!’ so i looked through my book shelf aND REALISED THAT THE BOOK SHE GAVE ME WAS THE BOOK I ALREADY HAD MY MUM STOLE SOMETHING FROM ME AND GAVE IT TO ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY
alphonsing: if you don’t dislike me yet don’t worry your time will come
barfing: how do you feel former governor of massachusetts mitt romney
me when i eat an apple: i'm so fucking healthy
Someone: *wearing a band shirt*
me: I think I'm going to hyperventilate wow holy shit this is such a surprise wow such a rare species just wow I want to be best friends I just can I have your autograph
mitt romney: i don't believe in women rights
mitt romney: or poor
mitt romney: or gay
mitt romney: or children
mitt romney: but i do believe in the rapist's
mitt romney: vote romney
hot-r0d: celebr1tystatus: pizzaforpresident: A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo....
me: mom, i need money
mom: what? did you spend those two dollars i gave you in 2003 already?
-everysecond: disaffect: OH MY GOD HRUFDMFDSVGFHSDRFK SO FUCKING CUTE OH MY GOD IM GOING TO CRY HAHAAHHAHAHHAAHHAHA OMG THE WAY IT JUMPS I JUST LOVE IT
ALL OF MY FLIRTATIOUS ADVANCES HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL OH YES THIS IS DEFINITELY HAPPENING
I know I can’t be your first love, and chances are I won’t be your last, but I want your love now, and I want it to be beautiful.
50 Questions You've Never Been Asked
Can we do this? Just for a bit of fun!
1. What's your favorite candle scent?
2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
4. How old do you think you'll be when you get married?
5. Do you know a hoarder?
6. Can you do a split?
7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
8. How many oceans have you swam in?
9. How many countries have you been to?
10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
13. What's the worst grade you got on a test?
14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
18. Did your mother go to college?
19. Are your grandparents still married?
20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
22. What's the first amusement park you've been to?
23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
25. Is your father bald?
26. Do you know triplets?
27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
28. Have you ever had Indian food?
29. What's the name of your favorite restaurant?
30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?
31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ's, etc.)?
32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
34. Who's your favorite person in the world?
35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?
36. Can you whistle?
37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?
40. What medical conditions do you have?
41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
43. Where do you buy your jeans?
44. What's the last compliment you got?
45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't real?
50. Why do you have a tumblr?
Best pick-up line ever
Person: Nice shirt, I love that band.
Better pick up line: Nice shirt, I'm in that band
when people you don’t know are at your house
Anonymous asked: didn't you already have a boyfriend not too long ago?
we are both attractive individuals we can talk for 7 hours straight about anything under the sun we have a seemingly mutual appreciation for each other why aren’t we married yet??
taking a leap of faith with my flirtatious ways loVE ME PLEASE